Asylum of the Suicidal Monkey

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Why is my shifter all sticky?

So I'm driving home from my class today and all of a sudden I'm cravin a slurpee. I stop at Sleven and pick one up. Yum yum yum. I start to get closer to home and my slurpee starts running low so you know what I do. I start to shake it to get it to settle so it's slurpable again. As I'm shaking it up the top pops off and I just about throw slurpee all over my car. Somehow I caught it so I only spill a little bit and it's not too bad. How many of you get so annoyed when your slurpees become unslurpable??

I must say, it takes one hell of a driver to handle a slurpee while driving a car that's stick. As I do all this the car stays perfectly straight, doesn't even swerve the slightest bit.

Monday, May 23, 2005

Racing - Auto City Speedway - Dixie Motor Speedway - Finally

Well it took about a month, but I was finally able to get back on the track. It was a busy weekend, because I raced at two different tracks. Friday night I made my first appearance at the Dixie half mile for the first time (without breaking a motor anyway) and started the night out a little rough, by breaking a bearing. We got it replaced but missed qualifying and a lot of practice time. Soooo, come feature time I started in the back and only moved up a couple positions due to a poor handling racecar, and a carburetor going bad.

Saturday we changed out carbs and headed to the Auto City Speedway, my home track. Was fighting a poor handling racecar again until after qualifying, so again I started back in about 15th. Before the feature we ran an Australian Pursuit race which means you race single file and if you get passed, you're out of the race. I started second, and we got the car handling nicely and it was a rocket ship. About 4 laps in I was just making a sweet move on the leader jumping up to about his door on the inside, when all of a sudden I get slammed hard in the rear of the car by the guy behind me. Sent me spinning around and caution came out. Now normally a guy is going to get his spot back when he is spun out by someone else, but for some reason the officials were jackasses and sent me off the track for being passed. In the Feature, like I said I started 15th, and for the first few laps the car was fast and I was doing well. Then the car became real loose (rear end wants to come around) so I didn't do much more. I did, however, pull off a nice top ten finish so that wasn't too bad.

In another week or two we'll have a brand new motor that is going to be bad fast. My current motor has a lot of torque compared to most others, and when I go through the turns I need to use more brake than others. Subsequently I lose lots of momentum and it's hard to be as fast as everyone else off the turn without cocking the car sideways. The new motor will help me slow down and get through the corners faster. We'll see what happens.

I was putting fuel in my racecar Saturday and I decided, my firesuit probably works better if I don't spill so much fuel on it.... Stow that away for a rainy day.

Friday on the way to Birch Run I pulled off the most amazing thing I have ever done in a street car. Driving up M-13 (two lane highway) I pulled out and passed 5 cars at once!! It was sweet! Would have been 6 but one car turned on a side road just before. One dope was just doing like 48/50 and accumulated these cars behind him. Most everyone cruises about 60 on this road. No one would pull out and pass so I finally pulled out and passed all those jokers. I've got to say, though, I wouldn't recommend just anyone to ever try it. Remember, I'm a professional.

Monday, May 16, 2005

You Secretly Like the Color Yellow Don't You...

Hmm... Interesting. So that's what it's like to go by someone blasting a weird off the wall song like Inagaddadavida on their car stereo. I'm usually the one that's doing that.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Maybe... Luck?

The other day I found a penny heads up... but it was Canadian. Soooo what does that mean?

Monday, May 09, 2005

This Just In...

Oh man where have I been. That is what is going to happen now that I'm out of classes for a while. I will be online a lot less and out and about a lot more. Hopefully doing stuff like playing hockey, driving cars, getting lit and jumping off the roof, and burning stuff.

Big news about the upcoming fire, I finally have in my possession THE couch, THE recliner, and a few more goodies. Johnny G's dad hooked me up with a nice desk bookshelf thingy to burn. This fire is gonna rock. Sounds like there may even be more things coming. Anyway, looks like the fire is set for June 10th. That is a Friday night and I don't race the next day sooooo should be pretty sweet.

On another note... Martha Washington was awesome!

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Sweet Sweet Orange Glow of a Couch.... ON FIRE!!

I am soooo soo happy right now. Just finished up a sweet semester of college where I might actually make the Deans List for once. Just got some sweet speakers for my car so I can groove while I cruise. And finally, got some spectacular hardware for the upcoming traditional end of the semester rHu fire.

For those of you that don't know, the rHu is known to have some sweet ass fires from time to time. Whoa trippy! I never thought of how ironic it is having one of our members, Bza, become a fire fighter. That just blew my mind! ANYway, right now it looks like we'll be having a fire end of May early Juneish. For the time being, we've got a couch AND a recliner. With those, along with each of our semesters worth of paperwork, this is going to be one hell of a fire! I'm so excited! I can barely sleep at night because of the anticipation. It's like Christmas with fire.

Everyone is welcome, so mark your calendars and stay tuned for more details in the future. You best be here for this one Jerfgoke!! (hehe, I used your full "name" you're in trouble.)


I have the greatest friends in the world. Sometimes I will just laaaaugh and laaaaugh at the different things they say. Check out this excerpt from an email from Johnny G giving me directions to his joint at Ferris...

"My door (from the back) is on the right. Don't kill yourself on the steps. And never, EVER use the handrail.

Oh yeah, and bring rope/bungees if you've got the them. Did you ever see the Malcom in the Middle where they lost the couch on the train tracks? That was classic."

(That's in reference to the couch that will be burned.)

I'm the Cookie Monster... The Whole World Loves Me!

Why do they call them cookies? A baker is the one that makes them, so shouldn't they be called bakies?

Monday, May 02, 2005

Stupid People... The Reason the Earth Has a Wobble When it Spins

I'm driving home on the highway today, and boy do I love doing 80 on the 96/127 interchange. After I was on 96, I started coming up on a semi and so I jump in the passing lane just to find a car passing the semi. Well, I wouldn't say passing, seeing how they were only doing like 65. So I come up on them and wait for them to pass and get over. I'm not tailgating that bad, but enough to let em know "hey retard speed the hell up." I wasn't behind them very long and they got over and I sped to go by. As I did this they gave me the finger. What the crap? I mean sure I was doing 80 and came up on them, but they were doing 65 in the passing lane. What am I spose to do, let them hold up traffic all day long? I wanted so bad to get hold of them and slap them across the face a couple times like they do in the cartoons.

I find that I absolutely can not stand it when someone does something very stupid and they don't think they did, and I can't talk to them later just to ask, "what the hell?" That has happened to me several times lately, and it always eats me up inside for weeks. I had a run in on the racetrack like that last year, where a guy spun me out by hitting the rear of my car but didn't think it was his fault and tried to blame it on me. The difference here, though, was I DID get a chance to talk to him. He still thinks it was my fault, and I still think he's an idiot, but I had that chance to say to him, "what the hell?" And that made it all better.


Now, I have just got to post a few random quotes from a conversation with No Turn earlier. I'm done with exams, so I'm my "normal" self. But The Turn? Well... Just look...

rHu No Turn: Kurt can kiss my skinny white ass.
(In reference to Kurt Busch the racecar driver)

rHu No Turn: What are you planning on doing with all the left over metal? The narc doesn't live in Mason any more.
(That one will only be funny to a few select people... Although, there are only a few select people that view this site anyway.**)

rHu No Turn: No psych majors can even figure out chicks... I bet if you look at marriage councilors that half of them or more are divorced or never married.
rHu Driver: Or half of them are blown out of their minds just to stay sane.
rHu No Turn: Those are the ones that are still married.
rHu Driver: HAHAHAHA

rHu No Turn: I hate this crap. I would much rather be sleeping, playing sports, watching TV, playing video games, watching a movie, working, dead...
rHu Driver: hehe
rHu No Turn: notice I left out normal exercising, cuz that one is a toss up.
(In reference to studying)

rHu No Turn: And what's the deal with The Goke... He needs to update!
(well... frickin... said...)

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Time.... Is on my Side

Oh how I love dial-up. Trying to upload some files to send to my sign painter... Well, I guess now days they are called a sign printer... Anyway, I could put the stinking pictures in the regular mail and they would get there before this computer uploaded them.

Whoa... The people on TV just went crazy nuts... Ahhhh, Jr. just took the lead. I should have known that. I'm watching a recording of the cup race at Talladega by the way. Why do I keep watching all the commercials??? DVR's are great.

Speaking of the race, No Turn just informed me how he was studying and watching the race at the same time. Talk about daring! The combination of Sunday studying and watching a NASCAR race can put you in such a deep sleep... You're practically dead!

One more day, one more exam, happy happy HAPPY I am!