Lazy People Unite!.... Meh... Tomorrow.

Don't hate me because I can eat anything I want and not gain a pound.
Laugh at me because I can't run more than 5 steps without becoming severely exhausted.


Pity me because I'll die of a massive heart attack by age 25......

Go Take A Shower!

Today I was driving onto campus and I was following some redneck in a pick-up truck. A thought occurred to me. The only difference between me being who I am and me being a poor redneck is I'm actually going through with my schooling and not giving up because it's so much work. I am sooo close to graduating and getting a job and earning a great amount of money each year that will allow me to live a very comfortable life. That made me feel really good for a bit. Though, it sure isn't going to make the next couple months any easier.

Very shortly after this experience I realized, "hey wait! I bathed this morning. I'm no where near being poor white trash." In conclusion, seeing dirty old pick-up trucks can really boost the ole self esteem.


On a lighter note, I was watching TV last night and it cut to a commercial. From the commercial comes the sound of a little bike bell. (you know... "ching ching.. ching ching") Like a knee jerk reaction without hesitation all of a sudden I started singing "I've got a bike you can ride it if you'd like...." That really made me laugh.
Man I love Pink Floyd!

Be Afraid... Be Very Afraid

I got to thinking yesterday while I was making the 2 mile hike to my first class of the day and as most of you know that usually ends with another crazy random wild thought. Without further delay...

I figured out the real reason why the country doesn't switch to hydrogen powered cars. It turns out it's as simple as everything else in the world ends up being. It's a conspiracy by Hollywood.

You see, liquid hydrogen, which is what these new cars would run on, is not flammable. Hydrogen in it's liquid state doesn't explode. So you see, if cars were running on a fuel that doesn't explode there goes half of all movie plots out the window. Guy gets in a car chase with mafia, or other bad guys, mafia cars crash into things, like construction barrels or rose bushes, and instantly explode. Simple... Hollywood conspiracy.

Hollywood can't keep this up forever though. Eventually we'll all be driving hydrogen powered cars and when that happens the world will be a better place. Not because the world will be cleaner... hell no, who cares about that. But because half of all the crappy movies produced won't ever be released anymore.

So remember, hydrogen isn't being held back due to the high changeover cost of switching the country to hydrogen fuel... It's allll Hollywood.

Stow that away for a rainy day...

Silence is..... Golden?

I had quite an awakening while I was mowing the lawn yesterday.

I'm cruising along doing my rounds, cut cut snippity snip, having a grand ole time cutting all bagillion and a half splendid acres we own. (lost sarcasm?) Regardless of the ear protection I'm wearing, I hear the loud hum of the tractor and mower working their magic on the lawn and I think about just how long and bad my ears would be ringing if the sound wasn't so muffled. It gets me thinking.... what good is my hearing? It would be so cool to not have my hearing anymore. It would make my life so interesting and actually enhance it. I wouldn't have to put up with listening to all the annoying people of this world whine and moan about every stupid little thing that doesn't matter or things that they know nothing about.

"No more war in Iraq!! Bring our troops home!" Shut up you stupid hippies!!!! Do you even understand how the world works?? First off someone had to do SOMEthing about Saddams crazy ass, and second if they pulled out now that part of the world would get soooo completely messed up that..... Wait wait wait.... Where am I going with this. Thats a completely different subject. (Frickin hippies) Back on track.....

Why it would be cool if I had no hearing.... By Slick
Communication would be pretty sweet. I could write everything I need to tell people, and it would be a hell of a lot easier to ignore people, on account of not being able to hear them hehe. I'd even be a better racecar driver, not being able to hear the engine of that car creeping up all over your back bumper. (most, intimidating thing, ever. It just plays with your head because you don't have mirrors so it becomes a huge mind game trying to guess is he coming inside or outside. Hehe I love mind games.) I say communication would be better, but that would be only for me. I'm the kind of guy who hates to sit there and listen to petty BS that just does not matter. This way everything is sort of filtered because communicating would be such a pain in the ass that only the things that NEED to be said, are.

Think about this!! This is a good one. I'd never ever again hear people's obnoxious ring tones blasting as their cell phones go crazy when someone calls them!! Is that awesome or what??

HAHA!! This one just hit me. I'd learn to read lips! How cool would that be!!

By the way, this whole thing would only work because I can hear now, and then I would lose my hearing. If I was born without hearing, that wouldn't work out the same. Also the thing about that, is if I lost my hearing it would probably mean I would have a legitimate lawsuit against someone and would become pretty stinkin rich. A yea yea!

So yea! Losing my hearing would be quite a sweet experience. So I digrose.... digress.... digrose.... while I was mowing I digress... ed. Cut cut snippity snip. "Man I love this song." "I love my ipod, it's perfect for when I'm mowing." "Wait.... wait." "no.......... nO...... NOOOOOOO!!!!!"

It hit me... like a ton of bricks! MUSIC!!! I can't lose my hearing! I'd never get to sit there and space out and just groove to the most magnificent blends of random notes and rhythms and such blended together that make up the most amazing thing that is called music, if I couldn't hear. Life just wouldn't be worth living any more if such a thing was lost for me. Needless to say, my mind was blown to bits...



"Now I wonder what my life would be like without smell."