For Every Alien Bear That Ever There Was...

Spectacular! Tremendously spectacular! I'll never have to worry about them aliens ever again.

Yesterday I was doing lots of miscellaneous work outside around the property. Absolutely beautiful day. I'm working along when all of a sudden my phone rings. It was Elmo!! I hadn't talked to him in ages! So we're chatting about stuff and things and I'm walking around still doing some work casually when I decide to walk something into the barn. Cell phone goes nuts! Just dead silent, couldn't get any words through whatsoever. I walked back out and right away he comes back to me and everything is cool. Immediately I realized what I had here. Nothing in the way of transmissions could get through that sheet metal that the whole barn is made of. No more wearing aluminum foil on my head to block those aliens from probing my thoughts! I can just move into the barn and nothing can get through to me there!

I'm so smart it's almost scary.

It's Time To Toke With The Goke!

How exciting!! Another personality of the suicidal monkey has emerged. You are all in for a treat too, because Jerfgoke has been known to come up with some spectacular postings in his time. However, he's also been known to spontaneously purge, so I will try my best to keep that to a minimal.

ANYways... Keep your chins up! More contributors means more randomness. This should be fun.

I'm all F'ed up on meg, man!

Tonight I'm getting my things together to take back to B.R. I grab my glasses case off the table in my bedroom and realize that it's soaking wet. Hmmmmm. Ok. I wipe it off and keep packing. I grab something else off the table and put my hand in a little puddle of clear liquid where the glasses case was sitting. I touch it and smell my fingers. Water. I use my shirt sleeve to wipe it up and keep grabbing stuff off the table to throw in my bag. A few items later I see the edge of a little pool of water underneath my digital alarm clock. I pick it up to look at the puddle below and about four ounces of water pours out of the back of the clock.

Figure that one out.

Kinda like Hamburger Helper...except it tastes good

I'm beginning to wonder if Little Caesars Hot-N-Ready pizza is God's manna for our generation.





"Our fathers ate the manna in the wilderness; as it is written, 'He gave them bread from heaven to eat.'" Jesus then said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, it was not Moses who gave you the bread from heaven; My Father gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is that which comes down from heaven, and gives life to the world." (John 6:31-33 RSV)

We have reached a new low

A week or two ago I posted some pictures of a vomiting frog from the Simpsons on Webshots. I only did it because the suffering little guy (who is in one episode for about 20 seconds total) has a special place in my heart. I just about laugh out loud every time I think about him. As of this week, 118 people have gotten online and looked at the two pictures, and there have been six downloads.

This may be the single most significant thing I've ever achieved in life.




If you'd like to see the pics for yourself, here ya go.

http://community.webshots.com/album/547589199zjyaTK

If You Go Out In The Woods Today, You'd Better Be In Disguise!

Part of conversation with Add Em on cell phone late night while walking into Meijer:


*Lost Service for a Split Second*

~ME: What did you say??
Well I think I know what you just said...
But I don't think I want to know what you said...
So don't ever tell me what you just said...
Cause if you just said what I think you said...
I don't ever want to hear what you just said.

~Add Em: I don't know what I said.

~Me: Ada boy.

"AOL Instant Messenger is the devil"

(The following AIM conversation is inspired by actual events.)

"The Problem With Instant Messenger"

Person A: Man, my grandma just died.

Person B: Hehehehe. LOL

Person A: Seriously, my grandma just died.

Person B: LMAO

Person A: It's not freakin' funny! I'm not kidding. My grandma just died!

Person B: Dude, I'm so sorry. I thought you were joking.

Person A: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! j/k LOL LMAO brb ; ) :0 : )

THE END



Yeah, sarcasm's cool.

PE = Bad? (Phys Ed yes... but Potential Energy?)

"I got a room at the top of the world tonight and I ain't comin' down"

First of all, read that post. Or else all that follows is meaningless...




I find that this is a relatively good argument. This potential energy in our lives always does, at some point, convert and send us hurtling toward the ground. It never fails. You're on top of the world one day, and something/someone/some force pushes you off the next. So why push on? Why set yourself up for another inevitable fall? Maybe lying on the ground the rest of your life isn't such a bad idea.


How about this?
When you're on your way to the ground and headed toward that painful impact, jump on a swing and ride that energy back to the top. Sure you're just setting yourself up for another fall... But hey! You'll swing to the top again! Isn't that feeling you get when you're at the top worth the fall? Jump on a swing and keep on keepin on. Ride that energy for all it's worth.











I always end up getting sick on a swing after so long...